WHEN MY WIFE and I were newlyweds, we lived in the VSU compound where most of the dwellers were relatively young. It was the demographic we liked, but the most welcoming people were senior faculty and staff. I loved hearing about their nostalgic romance from the 1940s and the children they raised. The experiences they shared helped us view the world through the lens of an older but wiser generation.
Now that I’m a grandfather on the other side of intergenerational friendships, I understand why the “oldies” enjoyed our company. Cultivating a circle of friends 15 to 20 years younger is like drinking from the fountain of youth; these relationships are a vital source of renewed energy, optimism and influence that help me age well.
I first recognized the benefits of age-gap friendships when my adult children brought their friends over to hang out on the weekends. Listening to their perspective on politics, environmental issues, parenting and social trends was a refreshing change from the conforming societal expectations of my own youth.
While I still enjoy the company of people my age, I find myself gravitating toward younger people for personal growth and a youthful outlook on life. There have been plenty of opportunities for me to meet young people since we decided to build our home close to the VSU campus. We’ve bonded with our shared interests in family, community, travel and pop culture, proving that age doesn’t matter when it comes to friendship.
But what is it about cross-generational relationships that attracts Gen X-ers and millennials? Most of our friends are our age and the majority are our children’s friends’ parents. This has its benefits, but our conversations often revolve around the kids. With older friends, we learn different perspectives from their experiences and have new topics to discuss, not just about raising kids.
Numerous studies point to the benefits of intergenerational friendships, confirming that such relationships can be long-lasting and meaningful and can help foster a positive attitude about aging. More importantly, friendships can also reduce the risk of loneliness many older adults experience.
There is much to be gained by connecting with those who are older or younger than us. According to experts, if you connect meaningfully with someone else, your friend chemistry will transcend the age gap.
Intergenerational friendship is a bidirectional gift, with older and younger people benefiting from the exchange of perspectives and wisdom. Studies have shown that the more diverse your social ties, the better it is for your health and well-being. Cultivating friendships across ages, different backgrounds, beliefs and cultures benefits all generations.
While it’s true that my younger friends and I are in different stages of our lives, we still learn new things from each other’s experiences. Mentorship also plays a vital role in these relationships and I enjoy being the inspiration that helps them embrace aging rather than dreading it. After all, the best part of my life began after I turned 60 — a time of hard-earned wisdom, compassion and freedom.
My intergenerational friendships, meanwhile, are the daily dose of youthful energy I need. Because of these endearing relationships, I’ll be forever young at heart. By Manny Palomar, PhD (EV Mail December 16-22 2024 issue)
