YOUR HEART TELLS you you’re 27, but your birth certificate says 42. For many of us, there’s a big difference between how old we feel inside (aka our subjective age) and how old we actually are (our objective age) according to calendars and the passing of time.
Objective age is real, health scientists say. We cannot change this. A year is a year. That said, subjective age is a mental attitude that is supported by action.
The action part is where things get our day-to-day choices influence how old we feel. My wife, Luth, is in her 70s but subjectively feels much younger. She can choose to accept her senior citizen pass and retire to a rocking chair. But she choose to work, create, go out for walks, eat as well as she possibly can and move her body, by dancing whenever.
It is believed that subjective age is a major predictor of various health outcomes. Feeling old has been linked with decreased self-esteem, increased mortality, depression and increased rates of sickness.
Our subjective age can transform over time, as we go through different life stages that make us feel suddenly old or young — like parenthood, separation, retirement, a new job, illness or going back to school, to name a few.
Although there’s certainly research to show that subjective age can be linked to better overall well-being, it’s important to focus on feeling good, not necessarily younger. There’s beauty in every stage of life.
Plus, when there’s a major disconnect between how old you are and how old you feel, it can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction. Finding a happy medium between your objective and subjective ages primarily involves embracing the present moment, honoring your life journey and finding joy in activities that resonate with your youthful spirit. Acceptance and self-compassion are key to aligning how you feel with the age you have.
So what can you do to love where you are in life — and not get too hung up about your actual age? Accepting and celebrating the aging process can reduce negative perceptions about growing older. Seeing aging as a series of changes will go a long way to not making us feel like victims of time.
Engage in age-defying activities. Staying active and healthy, maintaining social connections, and pursuing intellectually stimulating activities can help individuals feel younger.
Focus on positive aging. Highlighting the benefits and opportunities that come with age, such as wisdom and experience, can shift perspectives. Remember, there are plenty of advantages to where you are right now — not least of all having overcome the uncertainties and insecurities of being a younger adult.
Overall, subjective age is an excellent reminder that we do have some influence over how and how fast we age. Remember: Age is just a number, and subjective age is, well, subjective. So embrace your inner child, or your inner wise self. By Manny Palomar, PhD (EV Mail March 24-30, 2025 issue)
